Brotherly Banter
by angrymadsigyn
Summary: Post Avengers, sequel to "Viking Secrets Underneath" and "Bathtub Contact of the Third Degree", Loki continues to be mischievous, implied Thorki, language warnings, assumptions on Alien planets and life forms, don't read if you don't like, one shot.


More than a year had passed for the earthlings and Jane was already giving up the hope of seeing Thor again when the Manhattan incident happened. She understood there was no time for a reunion and that he was trying to protect her by not meeting her, but she was slightly offended when, after Loki was rendered harmless, he didn't take just a bit of time to see her. Then, after two terrestrial months, he returned accompanied by a reluctant but obedient Loki and again there was almost no time available for them since he was assigned the full time job of guarding the Mischief Maker. She was slowly getting sick of the circumstances and the more she thought about it, the more their relationship seemed to have fewer chances.

Thor was troubled. He was trying – very hard – to be faithful to Jane, since he knew how important that was for her. But the power of habit was hard to break, especially when it came to Loki. He had to admit – shamefully – that his feelings stopped being brotherly a long time ago and they didn't change, never mind the fact that they were apart for sometimes lengthy periods of time and he thought Loki dead lately. His blood was still boiling when he noticed others approaching Loki with sexual intent or when his adopted sibling seemed interested, especially when males were involved. He was still yearning for the blazing intimate moments they used to share, for the things they knew best about each other and no new conquest could beat in the end. He remembered their last time together, just before his official appointment as Odin's successor. Loki was particularly cruel and was swaying both of them between pain and pleasure with such skill that Thor stopped distinguishing them at some point. It was like the Trickster dealt some sort of punishment upon both of them and Thor now knew it was true. They fought on the Bifröst then and Thor saw Loki's hurt and rage and every single one of his tears was searing the Thunderer's heart. For about three Asgardian weeks he mourned and blamed himself for what happened, even more than he blamed Odin. Then Heimdall brought the wonderful and terrible at the same time news and Thor begged his father to send him back on Midgard to solve the problem. Maybe he should have been more careful with his wishes...

The smell coming from the common area kitchen was absolutely maddening. It smelled just like grandma Bestla's garlic toast and Thor's mouth was watering. He entered the kitchen and there was Loki, wearing a red apron reading the already boring 'kiss the chef' logo, rubbing toast with garlic and spreading it with sausage fat. He wasn't fast enough for the demand.

"So unhealthy..." Tony mumbled full mouthed and ecstatic.

"Shut the fuck up, Tony! You stole my piece too!" Clint grunted.

"So, you're telling us that most of the nine worlds are practically built around giant time dilating machines?" Bruce asked, savoring his piece of toast.

"Actually, they all are. Ymir, the founder, colonized the Nine Realms and built in a device in all of them, but, unfortunately, they sometimes break and there are so few spare parts left that Odin's father, Bor, decided not to repair the one on Nilflheimr and the one on Midgard."

"Brother!" Thor yelled. "It is forbidden to speak of these things to the mortals!"

"Really, now?! Should friends keep secrets? Tsk, tsk, Thor! That's not very nice of you..." Loki scolded, not slowing his hands for a second and offering the Thunderer a heavenly smelling piece of toast.

"And you're all cloned?" Natasha intervened. She had tasted two pieces, but politely refused a third.

"Not really. Only few very valuable members of our society were cloned and not always with the best results. Take Baldr for example: he died in an accident and his revival vas decided by the Council's unanimous vote, but his brain isn't what it used to be. He's kind of a simpleton now, even compared to Thor..."

Bruce giggled. Tony grinned.

"Accident?! You call that an accident?! It was murder, Loki, and you know it best!" Thor roared.

"Odin's beard! Aren't you over it yet? I only wanted to point out the prototype shield's weakness! It wasn't my fault Höðr's aim was so bad! He was meant to only scratch Baldr's skin. Besides, wasn't I punished enough?!"

"Oh my God! So the story about the venomous serpent is true?" Steve exclaimed, shivering a bit.

"Well... The Vikings highly embellished the story. My sons are fine, thank you! No Aesir is barbaric enough to kill children and eviscerate them for the sins of their parents; the serpent was a tubular acid dispenser and my ex-wife was keeping me company only to revel in my pain." Loki smiled lopsided. "She could never forgive me for tricking her into marriage just to produce offspring before Thor. I was even forbidden to contribute to their education because of my... err... lack of discernment."

"Hah! Ever the ambitious one, Frosty! So, you managed to beat Big Brother at something!" Tony smirked.

"I bested Thor at many things: literature, poetry, astronomy, mathematics, physics, biology, science and technology, cooking and other fine crafts Aesir looked down upon, considering them unmanly!" Loki scorned. "Any fool can procreate! And it wasn't even useful. I was never supposed to be in the line of succession..."

"How old are you, actually?" Steve asked to change the subject.

"In Midgard years? I'd say about 31, biologically... Thor would be 34, but, alas! His mind never grew over 12..."

At that Thor growled and grabbed Loki's shirt in front.

"This be the last time you insult my intelligence, brother!"

He raised his fist to punch Loki in the face, but stopped abruptly when Loki pressed their bodies flush and breathed right on his lips.

"We are not brothers and you are an incredible oaf!" he hissed, then yanked his shirt free and went back to preparing the garlic toast.

Tony cleared his throat but Natasha stopped any attempt at a comment elbowing him hard. Bruce tried unsuccessfully to hide a little smile, Clint rolled his eyes and the Captain blushed again.

Thor turned around and quickly left the kitchen.


End file.
